Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Spandex :(

This is a post that I made on a bike club forum in response to the use of spandex

1. Spandex should never be worn by men after their family jewels have dropped....usually around 5-6 years old. The exception to this rule is that spandex may be worn by men with small "packages" when (and only when) competing in an actual sporting event. Individuals with large "packages" should refrain from wearing spandex in public at all times.
2. Women are welcome to wear spandex at all times up until the point that the back side of said spandex do not look like the face of a 16 year old male (dimpled)
3. No person should wear spandex that has become threadbare or overstretched to the point that skin tone is visable beneath.
4. The use of spandex that has been overused and has developed little fuzzballs is generally discouraged.
5. Use of Generic spandex is strictly prohibited as it will invariably lead to "wardrobe malfunctions".
Failure to follow these rules may result in a trail visit by an overweight hairy, middle ager wearing nuthin but a g-string and a smile


Danibee said...

hahaha... good post

Permission to Mother should be studying said...

Good points. Made me smile.

kerbouchaud said...

It's all about making people smile. That's my job!